


Insert Race Here (The Spock Remix)

by sperrywink



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Childhood Memories, Gen, Remix, Star Trek References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 11:23:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11782137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sperrywink/pseuds/sperrywink
Summary: Len gets caught by Lisa and Mick watching Star Trek, causing him to think about his childhood, race, and feelings of alienation.





	Insert Race Here (The Spock Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [everyperfectsummer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/everyperfectsummer/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Insert Race Here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8928844) by [everyperfectsummer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/everyperfectsummer/pseuds/everyperfectsummer). 



> Inspired by a friend's commencement speech at our former college about growing up biracial in the 1970s. I am not biracial, so caveat lector.

Len was slouched on a couch in the safe house watching TV when Lisa came in twirling some of her hair in her fingers. She paused and asked, “Why are you watching this crappy show again? I thought you grew out of this in middle school. You’re such a nerd, Len.”

Len slanted a look at her, and deadpanned, “I’m indulging my inner child.”

Rolling her eyes, Lisa blew a raspberry at him. “You just like imagining you’re Kirk, all you guys are the same. Dumbass.” She then huffed and left the room. Shortly after he could smell coffee brewing, though. If Lisa was making coffee, which she was only middling interested in while Len loved it, he figured he was forgiven for being a geek. 

The funny part was that she was right that she never understood his interest in Star Trek. He never identified with Kirk, he identified with Spock, and even now the Spock-centered episodes could draw him in and make him feel that snap of connection.

Len had of course met other mixed race people over the years, but it’s like that saying about dysfunctional families by Tolstoy. Happy families were all happy the same way, but every unhappy family was unhappy in their own way. Obviously this was true for his unhappy family, but he had found that the same thing went for mixed race kids. Each and every one he met had identity issues, but they were never the same identity issues. They would exchange knowing looks when white people were casually racist or angry looks when people of color casually excluded them, but they had all internalized these experiences in different ways.

The closest Len had come to a connection was meeting another guy his age who talked about what Spock meant to him as the only thing approaching a biracial character on TV when he was a kid and how revolutionary that was. Lewis had always derided Len for watching Star Trek, and even Lisa thought he was weird, so since Len wasn’t an idiot, he never clarified that it wasn’t the ideals that attracted him or the scantily clad women that Kirk hit on, but the way Spock interacted with the universe as a mixed human/alien character. To a young Len, it opened his eyes to the wider world and showed him that he wasn’t alone. That his feelings of alienation and isolation were real. 

He wouldn’t admit it to Lisa or Mick, but he totally got into an in-depth conversation with that guy about Spock and Leonard Nimoy and how he played that dichotomy and really brought the truths of a biracial character to life. He was supposed to be a mark, but Len had let him go without stealing the sparkly gems he was after. One of his rare moments of sentimentality, although he paid for it when Lewis found out about the missed opportunity.

But back to Spock, his unemotional mien and control were traits Len strove to emulate. Spock showed him that his home life could suck, but it was how he reacted to it that mattered. He would protect Lisa as much as possible, and not let Lewis goad him into rash acts. Or at least he could work towards that. In episodes like The Naked Time, he could see Spock break down over his lack of feeling, and he felt sympathy. He didn’t think he would mind not feeling anything towards Lewis or his mother, but not to love Lisa was unthinkable. And then in Amok Time he could see even Spock lose control and see that they weren't so different. Even Spock struggled.

He was a crook in a cop’s kid clothing, and a non-white in a white world both at school and home. He didn’t fit in anywhere, but at least he knew his feelings were real. Spock gave him that. That’s when he began paying closer attention and noticing others who were having similar issues navigating the world. He of course used his newfound understanding to his advantage; he was still a crook after all, but in a small way, it also made him relate a little bit more to people from across the spectrum.

The episode ended, it was one with a confrontation with the Romulans so not really Spock-centered, so Len had really only been paying half-attention to the show before Lisa caught him, and he got up to get some of the coffee that Lisa had brewed. She was already back in her room, but Mick was sitting at the table nursing a cup.

Mick said, “I know why you watch that crappy show.”

Getting a mug from the cabinet, and pouring his coffee, Len leaned against the counter, and just nodded. He didn’t know what Mick thought he knew, but he was curious to find out.

Mick snorted. “I know you don’t believe me, but I’m not stupid, or unobservant like Lisa.”

“I know you’re not, Mick,” Len said placatingly.

Now Mick rolled his eyes. “It’s that Spock guy. I don’t know whether you want to fuck him or be him, but you’ve always been stuck on him.”

He twitched one eyebrow. “That’s very astute of you.” And it was. But Mick had known him for a long time, and for all Mick’s… disadvantages, he did pay attention to Len. Before it had always made Len feel powerful and authoritative when Mick deferred to his judgment, but he guessed he never considered the flip side of that coin. It also made him more transparent to Mick than he was to others.

He stared Mick down, who didn’t flinch and just stared back defiantly.

After a couple long seconds, Len finally nodded and smirked. He thought of his mixed race and his other clashing dichotomies. He admitted, “I was always half and half of a lot of things. I could relate to Spock more than any other character on TV.”

Mick smirked back, and said, “I knew you wanted to be him.”

Len laughed lightly. “Well, long and lean is also my type, so I would fuck him too, but yeah, you’re not wrong about that.”

Mick got up and slapped Len on the shoulder. As he walked out of the room, he said, “I always knew your interest in that damn speedster had more to do with your dick than your brain. Long and lean, no shit.”

He left Len sputtering in his wake.


End file.
